Recently, the idea of growth and changing has become pretty popular, which is great to a certain extent. I say to a certain extent because I am noticing that some people are changing not for themselves but for others. Or some people feel pressured to go about their personal growth journey the same exact way that other people may be going about it. Usually with personal growth/change people would feel something inside of them telling to slightly or completely change x,y,and z about themselves, their behavior, etc in order to become a better version of themselves. Even if an external event may have occurred and brought to life the need for change, at some point an inner voice is going appear saying “A change needs to happen within you for x,y,or z reason,” or something along those lines. Some people do not have that inner reason for changing they are just looking at other people changing and feel like they need to do the exact same thing unless they will be left out of the loop or behind in a sense. When that internal reason is not present the change would not sustainable to the person. It would feel forced, fake, and like they have to put on a show. It would not flow right. Personal growth that needs to occur would be sustainable and feel real/right. And usually there would be progressions and transitions so even if the person did a complete 180, the transitions and progressions would offer explanations and help it to make sense.
For example, changing eating habits. Different eating habits work out for different people. The people who choose to change their eating habits on their terms, reasons, and preferences can sustain the new eating habits over time, turn it into a lifestyle, and be happy. The people who completely change their eating habits based on what other people are doing and for non-personal reasons are usually miserable and miss the old food(s). Over time they can’t keep it up because they didn’t have an internal reason for changing their eating habits and/or it may not be best for them.
For you to change for yourself you need an inner reason and not completely focus on what other people are doing. You can get ideas and/or become inspired by other people but ultimately you need to be growing for yourself. You can’t force growth or change out of an insecurity of being the odd one out or being left out. You can’t do it to impress or one up people. If you genuinely feel like you don’t need to make a specific change, don’t do it. Leave whatever it is alone because maybe it is not time as yet. Or if you know that a specific method does not work for you or can’t work for you, try another one. The whole point of personal growth is do it however you want to and however best suits you. You have to make sure that you are doing it for you and for bettering yourself.
Time to Focus on You:
Sit down with yourself and examine the changes that you are making or want to make. Make sure that you are doing it for yourself. Its fine to have motivation and inspiration from others but you need to be the focal point of the personal growth and change. I suggest that you make a list of the changes you are making or want to make and true reasons for the changes. Be honest with yourself, is your inner voice guiding you to these changes or are you only doing it for other people? Are the changes and methods sustainable for you? Are you taking your time with them?
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