Sometimes the “Perfect” Answer isn’t Needed

A few nights ago, I was feeling sad and crying. I decided to call my mom and talk to her. At first, I was just going to talk to her as a distraction but hearing her voice caused me to cry more and tell her how I was feeling. After I told her, she expressed concern and was honest. She said didn’t know what to say. Then I thought to myself it’s fine, I wasn’t expecting much. I just wanted to talk which helped me to feel a little better. Knowing my sense of humor and the fact that I like to laugh, my mom told me a joke based on one of our insiders. I started bursting out laughing. We talked about the insider and made other jokes. Before I knew it, we were on the phone for an hour talking and laughing. After the phone call I felt much better.

This moment reiterated the fact that I need to reach out to people whenever I’m sad, upset, etc. instead of always isolating myself. It also showed that just talking can sometimes help. I appreciate my mom’s honesty and for not pretending she had a magic answer. In addition, I like the fact she drew from what she knows about me and the strength of our relationship dynamic to make me laugh.

Time to Focus on You:

Reach out to people who you trust when you experience moments of sadness, anger, etc. Also, when people are venting to you, they don’t always want a miracle answer. It’s okay to be honest and admit that you don’t know what to say. You can still provide support and empathy just by being present and being who you are. You can draw on other aspects depending on the context of the relationship, such as giving a hug (with the person permission), just listening to them vent, sitting in silence with them for a while, practicing deep breathing together, offering to do a favor, and/or asking the person how you could help.

Photo by Ehimetalor on Unsplash