A Honest Conversation

A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast hosted by a clinical psychologist and a guest therapist speaker. This podcast episode was about the attachment style of a fictional character, how it was influenced by her family dynamics, and how it influences her interactions with romantic partners, friends, and family. Normally I listen to this podcast as a form of leisure activity and to learn about different perspectives. As I was listening to the podcast, I realized that the fictional character and I had a good amount of things in common, such as behavioral patterns and habits. We also had somewhat of a similar background story.

Even though the podcast was talking about a fictional character, I started to think about myself and my past. A question kept popping up in my head, “Yea that character is similar to past Nia but is she similar to who you are now?” I thought myself, “I don’t know.” Then I asked myself, “Do you still hold any type of resentment?” This question caused me to open my mouth and to be honest with myself about the resentment I previously held when I was younger, why I don’t hold it now, and the overall process of letting go. I also talked with myself about some of my beliefs and behavioral habits that were influenced by the situation. My thoughts started flowing out of my mouth pretty quickly, like they were waiting for a while to get out. Sometimes when I have conversations with myself, they are full of negative self-talk. But in this conversation, I was honest while at the same time not overly blaming myself. I was empathic but called myself out on my past and some current behaviors while I was exploring my thoughts and feelings. I saw how certain events influenced my behavior and how my behavior influenced other events. I ended the conversation saying, “Even though their actions were not right, I understand them. That person was a toxic person in general and I no longer take what they did personal.”

It was a very interesting moment to see how certain aspects of me parallel with a fictional character of a show I never watched. It also felt good to have an honest conversation with myself out loud instead of in my head. Something about hearing myself talk helps with really understanding my thoughts and noticing patterns in my speech. Even though this conversation was not an easy one to have with myself, it was very necessary and caused me to look at somethings differently and change some of my behaviors.

Time to Focus on You:

Go have an honest conversation with yourself. Don’t be overly harsh on yourself but hold yourself accountable when necessary.

Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

33 thoughts on “A Honest Conversation”

  1. I recently encouraged my coworkes to engage in reflection and introspection. It really is the only way to measure your growth and self-correct. This is a lovely post. Sometimes I can be hard on myself but sometimes I need to be…

    Liked by 2 people

  2. This is really nice! I think we all could use time like that. I remember when I finally stopped letting a particular person press my buttons. I actually said it out loud to this person! “I’m not letting you press my buttons today”. They got mad, said they didn’t believe in psychobabble, and hung up on me. I never let that person get under my skin again. I think there is truly something to saying things out loud. Anyway, my two cents. Great post, I look forward to reading more.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Nia, I found you on Swimmers.

    This is such a wonderful idea, so often people judge others before really looking at themselves. This should be one of those exercises people carry out once a week; it is healthy to reflect on oneself and your actions/ reactions.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. This is a great reflective post. It also triggered thoughts for me as I was reading. As a counsellor, I always make time to reflect so that I’m aware of my behaviours and how I deal with things. And yes, it takes being honest with yourself in a compassionate way.
    Thanks for sharing 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love when random moments can inspire such self-conversations. I feel like in taking better care of ourselves we need to have these moments, where we can be open, honest, and kind. Very good post and I love that it was a podcast that inspired you.

    Liked by 1 person

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