A few days ago, I was listening to a podcast hosted by a clinical psychologist and a guest therapist speaker. This podcast episode was about the attachment style of a fictional character, how it was influenced by her family dynamics, and how it influences her interactions with romantic partners, friends, and family. Normally I listen to this podcast as a form of leisure activity and to learn about different perspectives. As I was listening to the podcast, I realized that the fictional character and I had a good amount of things in common, such as behavioral patterns and habits. We also had somewhat of a similar background story.
Even though the podcast was talking about a fictional character, I started to think about myself and my past. A question kept popping up in my head, “Yea that character is similar to past Nia but is she similar to who you are now?” I thought myself, “I don’t know.” Then I asked myself, “Do you still hold any type of resentment?” This question caused me to open my mouth and to be honest with myself about the resentment I previously held when I was younger, why I don’t hold it now, and the overall process of letting go. I also talked with myself about some of my beliefs and behavioral habits that were influenced by the situation. My thoughts started flowing out of my mouth pretty quickly, like they were waiting for a while to get out. Sometimes when I have conversations with myself, they are full of negative self-talk. But in this conversation, I was honest while at the same time not overly blaming myself. I was empathic but called myself out on my past and some current behaviors while I was exploring my thoughts and feelings. I saw how certain events influenced my behavior and how my behavior influenced other events. I ended the conversation saying, “Even though their actions were not right, I understand them. That person was a toxic person in general and I no longer take what they did personal.”
It was a very interesting moment to see how certain aspects of me parallel with a fictional character of a show I never watched. It also felt good to have an honest conversation with myself out loud instead of in my head. Something about hearing myself talk helps with really understanding my thoughts and noticing patterns in my speech. Even though this conversation was not an easy one to have with myself, it was very necessary and caused me to look at somethings differently and change some of my behaviors.
Time to Focus on You:
Go have an honest conversation with yourself. Don’t be overly harsh on yourself but hold yourself accountable when necessary.
Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash
[…] via A Honest Conversation — Reflections and Life Lessons […]
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thank you for this. I’ve been having similar conversations and analyzing event that have taken place in my life, and its definitely been hard but they’re important. thank you
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Thank you for reading! 😊 and I’m glad to hear that! Yea these type of conversations are important👍🏽
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Self reflection is key to growth 😘
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Very true! Thank you for reading! 🤗
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I like the idea of having a conversation with myself out load, I can’t say I’ve ever done that before. Thanks for the idea, maybe I’ll start listening to myself this way 😂
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Thank you for reading! 🤗 Lol yea I heard someone people record themselves while they are talking
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This sounds freeing. I have found writing to be the best therapy recently ☺
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Thank you for reading! Yea writing helps me too 🤗
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I’m glad to read that I’m not the only one who has conversations with myself out loud! It’s the not blaming myself part that I’m still working on. Great post!
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Thank you for reading! 😊Lol yea, some people look at my weird when I say that I talk to myself
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Ha! Some of the best conversations I have are with myself.
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Exactly!!
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I recently encouraged my coworkes to engage in reflection and introspection. It really is the only way to measure your growth and self-correct. This is a lovely post. Sometimes I can be hard on myself but sometimes I need to be…
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Thank you for reading! 😁 yea I agree that it’s necessary for growth! You know what’s best for you
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This is really nice! I think we all could use time like that. I remember when I finally stopped letting a particular person press my buttons. I actually said it out loud to this person! “I’m not letting you press my buttons today”. They got mad, said they didn’t believe in psychobabble, and hung up on me. I never let that person get under my skin again. I think there is truly something to saying things out loud. Anyway, my two cents. Great post, I look forward to reading more.
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Thank you for reading! 😄 that moment sounds so empowering!
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Hi Nia, I found you on Swimmers.
This is such a wonderful idea, so often people judge others before really looking at themselves. This should be one of those exercises people carry out once a week; it is healthy to reflect on oneself and your actions/ reactions.
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Thank you for reading! 😃 so important and true!
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This is a great reflective post. It also triggered thoughts for me as I was reading. As a counsellor, I always make time to reflect so that I’m aware of my behaviours and how I deal with things. And yes, it takes being honest with yourself in a compassionate way.
Thanks for sharing 😊
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Thank you so much for reading! 😁
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Great recommendations. Be honest and accountable, but don’t over-dwell.
Interesting how a podcast made you do that.
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Lol yea. Thank you for reading! 😄
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Very good and necessary advice!!
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Thank you for reading Jessica! 😊
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You’re welcome! 😉
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I love when random moments can inspire such self-conversations. I feel like in taking better care of ourselves we need to have these moments, where we can be open, honest, and kind. Very good post and I love that it was a podcast that inspired you.
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Thank you for reading! 😁 I completely agree, it is a form of self care
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Hi there Nia! Just wanted to let you know I nominated you for an award. There is absolutely no obligation to participate. XOXO https://findingfrenchcharming.com/2018/06/22/liebster-award/
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Thank you! 😃 it may take me a while to make a post
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No worries!
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You have hit the chord. Love this post.
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Thank you for reading! 😄
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