Returning Home

As some of you may know I am a graduate student currently living on my university’s campus while I study clinical psychology in Chicago. I am originally from New York. During winter break the dorm was closed which means I went back to New York for a few weeks. This was my first time being back home since I left for grad school in August. While I was in undergrad I was always excited to go home for breaks just for the sake of being home and completely away from my college’s campus. But this time around when I was packing and getting ready to leave, I kept thinking to myself “I’m going to miss being here.”

When I reached home, it was great to feel New York’s energy again, but I did not feel the same excitement that I used to feel while I was in undergrad. Something was missing this time around. I found myself constantly thinking about Chicago and how much I miss being there. The differences between New York and Chicago really started show themselves. Most of the things that I was used to in Chicago were suddenly gone when I went back to New York. It felt like I had to readjust to New York, which felt weird because I never felt that in undergrad. How do I need to readjust to a place that I lived all of my life and always thought and talked about while I was an undergraduate? Ask anyone I went to undergrad with, I always loved home and was ready to go back home every chance I got. During my senior year, I had an entire countdown of when I was going to graduate on my phone since the beginning of the academic year. To say I was ready to go was an understatement. But there was something about Chicago that I missed and could not find in New York. It could have been the fact that I was living in Chicago for a few months and had to readapt to my life in New York or it could have been a sign of the future.

While I was New York, I had a lot of moments of nostalgia regarding parts of my childhood and teen years. Wherever I went, the memories I had associated with the specific location kept popping into my head. I had a lot of dreams involving people and events of my past. Some of these dreams ended with different forms of closure. Some of my dreams were also symbolic of new beginnings. In my wake state, I started getting more signs associated with Chicago. I have been practicing wellness and being mindful for a while and I do not believe these things are occurring as a coincidence. I am not fully sure what the future holds but I think my return home was a sign that Chicago could possibly be the state I live in permanently, at least for a few years, after I graduate. And I think that I would really enjoy living there. New York felt like it was associated with my past while Chicago feels like it could be my future.

Time to Focus on You:

Have you recently had any signs or dreams about new beginnings or stages of transitions? What are they?

Photo by: Unsplash

Disclaimer: To any one of my personal friends who I grew up with in New York or when to college with who maybe be reading my blog post, I always miss you guys while I am in grad school. My feelings are associated with the places not you guys.

14 thoughts on “Returning Home”

    1. There were some things I had access to in Chicago that I didn’t in New York but didn’t realize until I went back to New York. It was more of an internal feeling, I can’t really explain it lol.

      Liked by 1 person

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