One of the main activities that helps me to destress and to remain calm is practicing self-care. Even though self-care has become a popular trend recently, it is very important to have some type of rituals that you can commit to on a regular basis for taking care of yourself. With social media, like Instagram and YouTube, it can be easy to get too wrapped in what self-care “should” look like. Sometimes, they also give off the idea that self-care is supposed to be glamorous and extravagant 24/7. When in reality, self-care can be simple activities, such as taking a shower, going to sleep at a decent time, and turning off your phone. It can also be fun activities like painting your nails, creating art, and hanging out with friends. There is no one size fits all or perfect method of self-care. Your self-care doesn’t have to exactly like everyone’s self-care routine. Self-care can take up as much time as you want it to take. Some people engage in self-care once a week while others do little things throughout the week.

Your self-care can be whatever you want it to be as long as it is healthy for you and feels good. You can keep it simple or go above and beyond, if you have the resources. It should at least include the basic necessities of life, such as sleep, hygiene, food, and water. I usually schedule in different forms of self-care every day. Yes, I write in my planner when I am supposed to engage in which activity to make sure I actually do them and do not forget about them. Below are some (not all) of my methods of self-care:

  • Sleep: Getting at least 6 hours of sleep a night and sticking to a sleep routine. I do not always have the time for eight hours of sleep. Most people think that everyone needs eight hours of sleep but research shows that it is an estimate number. It is better to have consistent sleep schedule to have your body become used to a routine. Basically, you go to sleep at same time every night and wake up at the same time every morning. Also, taking a nap when I need one during the day is a good refresher.
  • Skin care: I keep it simple, I don’t have 52 steps. It includes cleansing in the morning, using a mild exfoliator at night, and using a hydro-booster and moisturizer twice a day. I recently started trying out hydrating sheet masks once a week since my skin is dehydrated because of the cold weather. All of my products are drugstore. My products are not completely organic but I am researching some organic and affordable options.
  • Drinking enough water every day and eating healthy most of the week. Twix: It’s my favorite chocolate and I indulge whenever I want.
  • Wash Day: As a black woman with natural hair, washing my hair is a full-day production. I have a lot of hair and it gets dry very easily. Prepping, washing, and styling my hair is a long process that takes up a few hours of my Saturday. My wash day is probably the most complicated thing I do for self-care but I am so used to it that I see it as basic. I go on autopilot while listening to music or a podcast.
  • Physical activity: I do cardio, weight training, and body weight exercises 3-4 times a week in the gym or at home. Daydreaming or creating music videos in my head while doing cardio actually makes cardio very enjoyable for me. I also do yoga and meditate on and off, I have trying to become more consistent with them. I engage in psychical activity as much as I can such as taking the stairs and walking.
  • Turning off my phone for a couple of hours and having alone time! I have an entire post about this Alone Time
  • Writing, of course. I also have a post on this So I’m a Writer
  • Listening to podcasts and watching YouTube videos.
  • Cleaning and doing laundry: Yes they are chores but with my favorite music or a podcast playing, it easier to zone out and relax. Something about cleaning my space and having a clean space and clothes helps my mind to feel more clear and relaxed. If my space is too messy or I have too much laundry piling up, I cannot function and my concentration is off.
  • Peaceful scenery: I am a visual person, so I need to see and envision things that appeal to me. I love looking at bodies of water, the sky, artwork, and city buildings. From my dorm room, I can see the lake. So every morning while I am on campus I look out the window to look at the sky and lake for a few minutes before I leave to start my day of work and classes. I took a lot of pictures of the view, so when I am not on campus I can still look at it whenever I want to help relax me.

Time to Focus on You:

What is your self-care routine? How often of you practice it? In what ways does your routine help you?

27 thoughts on “Self-Care”

  1. This is a great post! I agree with you; self-care is personal and it varies from individual to individual. Personally, I like to dedicate a few hours to pamper myself by taking a long bath, listening to my favourite music, preparing my favourite meal (even though it takes a lot of time) and reading and/or writing. I also talk the time to appreciate my own presence and remind myself that I’m doing my best and I deserve to relax once in a while.

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  2. I love this post, I’m a new mom and remembering to care for myself is so difficult sometimes. I relate to this post so much. Everything you practice I try hard to practice too. I want to start lifting weights at the gym, I do cardio literally all the time and before I got pregnant I ran a mile a day with light weight lifting. That was all in my mom’s garage however, and not at the gym. Lol so I’m a little nervous and few awakes trying to lift weights when I honestly don’t know what I’m even doing. 🤷‍♀️ do you have any advice on how to Over come this? ❤️

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    1. Thank you! 😊 it’s good that you are making self-care a priority while balancing motherhood. When I first started lifting weights I too was really nervous but I went with someone who had been lifting for a while. Having that person there was helpful because they were able to show me how the do the exercises and made should I kept the proper form. They also gave words of encouragement. I also follow women who are personal trainers on instagram and youtube. They usually post up some short workout videos with instructions in the captions and words of encouragement for other women. If I try out any of their exercises I usually try it out at home in front of mirror to make sure I Have the correct form and such before doing them at the gym. Most of the machines in gyms usually have instructions with pictures detailing how to work the machine. I think they also some free apps that could help

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  3. ahhh thank you for this post. i needed it. for me, truth in my blog is self care. warm cups of tea. books of poetry on the couch. watching the sunrise in my pajamas. reading at coffee shops.
    thank you. 💙💙

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  4. This was a good read. I think social media is exposing us to too many things happening at once that we can easily forget to take care of ourselves. It’s a good reminder that we shouldn’t forget to take care of ourselves while scrolling through endless stream of updates from around the world!

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  5. […] Now I have been working to alter my unhealthy coping mechanisms to be healthier. I try not overwork myself to avoid my problems and I try not to isolate myself too often. I address my problems and emotions directly either through writing or talking to myself to process things. (Yes talking to yourself actually works and you are not “crazy”). Expressing my emotions and giving myself validation helps me to feel them without feeling weak for being sad. Working to be productive so I am not sitting in pity for myself helps me to feel like I am doing something important. Being aware of when I am working to be productive or when I am working to avoid emotions is something I continuously work on. Sometimes working to be productive is not assignments or projects, it is simply taking care of myself and becoming a better person. Alone time in a healthy range is good for me but when I feel like I am isolating myself and/or things are too overwhelming I reach to people for support, laughter, or just the comfort of their energy. I have even went to a therapist multiple times while I was in undergrad. There are definitely times when I have still overworked and isolated myself but I am trying to be more aware and stop myself. I have also incorporated other coping mechanisms in my life over the years, such as yoga and watching funny videos/movies. Some of my coping mechanisms overlap with some of my methods of self-care, which I talked about in this post Self-Care. […]


  6. I need to be more consistent with self-care. Once a week, I use of body scrub (makes my skin feel like butter, I apply body oil after shower), groom all areas (from hair to toes). I feel like a million bucks. Most evenings after the boys bedtime, I love listening to smooth jazz by candle light and just unwhine. Sometimes in the middle of the day we have “siesta time”, 30 mins uninterrupted quiet time (nap, quiet reading and instrumental music for me and the kiddos). There a weeks were I got so caught up in doing and doing that I take little time for myself and it affects everyone. Thanks to your post, I will work at being more intentional.

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    1. Thank you for reading Zonnette! Listening to smooth jazz music by a candle light sounds so relaxing. I may try it. Do you find any specific candle scents relaxing? Yea sometimes when things get hectic I forget some aspects of self-care and slack off a bit then my whole mood is affected.

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      1. I just go with whatever smells great to me. I like fruity scents. Lavender is suppose to help relax but I don’t like that I do like peppermint. Sometimes I add a cup of peppermint tea which is very refreshing and relaxing to my candle light, jazz session…lol. Helps me sleep well :). Also clearing my mind before I sleep has helped me sleep well. (I pray, worship and meditate)

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