Sometimes You Just Need to Cry

In my past, I used to be strongly against crying for whatever reason. I hated crying because it made me feel weak and powerless, especially in front of other people. When people would say that crying was therapeutic for them and that it made them feel better, I would look at them like they lost their mind. Especially when they said that they were crying just to cry, they didn’t have an exact reason to cry. I would think to myself, “Why are you crying for no reason? I don’t understand.” At that stage, crying was a waste of time for me. The only time I would cry was when I was extremely frustrated, and I could not do anything about the situation because it was either out of my control or I already tried everything that I could try.

Refusing to cry caused me to keep a lot of feelings bottled up inside of me. When I started to read about how other black women dealt with their past and issues, they all said crying helped. Before they were comfortable with crying, they viewed crying the same way I did as a waste of time. They broke down the strong black woman complex, which helped me to learn why I viewed crying with such disgust. I hated the idea of crying because it is believed that strong black women don’t cry and guess who wanted to be a strong black woman. They said that crying helped them to let go of their past and express their feelings.

As I read more about their stories, I started to become comfortable with crying because I identified with their stories. Instead of stopping myself, I would just let my tears flow. I was finally able to release parts of my past. Around this time, crying began to be therapeutic for me. I now view it as a form of release and I am not ashamed to cry. I cry when I am happy, sad, mad, grateful, and sometimes randomly. Occasionally I get into these moods where I feel like crying for no specific reason. So, I turn on Mary J. Blige or another 90’s artist and cry. I tend to experience this weird release when I am in this mood. I call it weird because nothing was bothering that would cause me to be sad and/or cry, but I still felt the need to cry. I guess I am starting to understand why some people cry just to cry.

Time to Focus on You:

How do you view crying? When was the last time you cried?

26 thoughts on “Sometimes You Just Need to Cry”

  1. This post is wonderful, something that had to be said.
    Actually, this post explains exactly what I viewed about crying and what I view about it now. This post makes me feel so much better because right now, I want to cry because life sometimes just decides to throw squeezed lemons at you and asks you to make something out of it, and reading your post gives me some kind of hope.
    Here are the words from the confused me:
    Keep writing and never doubt yourself.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think I know how you feel. Well, not the being a strong black woman part, but the doing my best to hold back tears to seem strong part! 😉

    When I feel too embarrassed to mention that something has made me cry, I tend to say that it has made my eyes water. I know it doesn’t make sense, but not admitting they are tears (just random watery eyes) really helped me learn to cry.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m quite the opposite. I have always been a crybaby growing up, incessantly teased for my sensitiveness and often frustrate other people with how easily I get sad/self conscious. I guess it’s a give and take, huh?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I have always found that crying would release my stress and anxiety, but I could never cry or show emotions in front of people as I was growing up. But now I’m a total cry baby with my husband and it feels even better to cry with someone there. Loved your post!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Another excellent post! I use to think crying was for the weak as well. I think it depends why you cry. As a man it’s okay to cry, but if you crying over every single time you got your feeling hurt, then you got to grow up and toughen up.
    I fee l like it’s okay to cry when your child been missing for days, someone close to you died, when your just miserable and heartbroken from a relationship/marriage, any type of life or death situation or you can cry when something beautiful happens like your child graduating form college, or accomplishing a goal that required a shitload of work to the point where nobody said you can accomplish or giving a testimony

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! I like that you brought up different reasons for crying. People should explore the reason(s) for why they are crying in situations as a way to cope and understand

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Crying doesn’t mean you are weak. It means that you know you have been hurt and you are accepting those feelings and are ready to do something about it.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Beautiful post! I also was of the belief that crying made you weak. I’m still uncomfortable to cry in front of other people, but when I am alone, I love to just find any emotional movie and cry my heart out.

    Liked by 1 person

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